In today’s “Ask An Adoption Question”, Shelly talks about her struggle with waiting to adopt.
Hi, Tim
The hardest thing for me is the waiting. Every day that passes feels like I have been rejected by all the people who look at our 3 websites. I think I’m not pretty enough to be chosen, our pictures aren’t good enough. It was extremely hard to go through gathering all the paperwork and cleaning our home again preparing for our second home study. Feels like what’s the point – losing hope we’ll ever be matched.
Shelly
Hi, Shelly!
Thanks for your email. I know the waiting part of the adoption process is the worst. My wife and I have been through tough waiting periods during both of our adoptions.
It just plain sucks – no glamorous words here. Waiting will test your resolve for how bad you want to become parents. There were many times that our hopes were running really thin.
That is why I’ve put together a quick guide about what to do to survive the adoption wait. I hope it will help you. Here’s the link to get it free: InfantAdoptionGuide.com/25tips
Here are a few of the biggest things we did during our wait:
1. Join domestic adoption Facebook groups.
The people in these groups “get it” and can understand you like no one else because they are on the same journey. You will find these are great places to get support and ask questions. I invite you to join our Infant Adoption Guide Facebook Group that is filled with people just like you.
2. Spruce up your profile – even create an adoption profile video.
My wife and I created profile videos for our first two adoptions. It was an awesome experience because both times our kids’ birthparents LOVED the videos. It made the difference for them, so putting the videos together was sooo worth the effort. You can watch the profile video we created for our second adoption.
You can get help by going to AdoptionProfileVideo.com.
I know from experience that it’s hard not to lose hope while you wait. I’m sure you’ve heard the only way your adoption won’t happen is if you give up. It’s true.
There are thousands of people every year that adopt – and you will too. You just can’t give up.
Here’s the deal about feeling rejected. You may feel that way – we did too – but you are not being rejected. You are pretty enough. You are good people. You will be great parents. Your pictures are good enough.
It will take the right expectant mother to see you and choose you – but it will happen.
After my wife and I waited for a while (maybe too long), we decided to revise our profile. We changed our photos and rewrote our letter to expectant mothers. If you feel this is something you want to do – there are some great resources out there. Here are a few:
How to make and share your Adoption Profile online (and stand out among the crowd)
Updating your adoption profile: 2 more things you should know
Hang in there, Shelly. You’re in my prayers. Thanks for reaching out to me. I’m here to help in any way I can.
Your friend,
Tim
Now it’s your turn. What is your adoption question?
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