The following is a guest post from Allison – a mother through adoption who loves to create amazing adoption profiles over at YellowRoseDesign.net. Enjoy!
When my husband and I began the adoption process in 2015, one of the first things we were told is that we needed an Adoption Profile Book. This is the way that birth mothers are introduced to potential parents for their child.
My first thought was, “oh man…this book is crucial!” And it really is! I mean, consider that one little thing a birth mother sees in YOUR book may just be the very thing that draws her to your family and gives her peace about choosing YOU to be the mother and father of her child.
That being said, I tried to put myself in the shoes of a birth mother and considered a few things when creating our profile book:
1) Keep it clean!
By “clean” I mean, minimalistic and easy to look at. People are drawn to beauty and simplicity. When you visit someone’s home and there is clutter and junk everywhere, you naturally feel a little anxious.
Your brain doesn’t have a chance to “rest” as it is processing all the things around you. In contrast, if you walk into a home that is very minimalistic – few knick knacks, no clutter – it is naturally more peaceful.
It’s similar with your profile book. Keeping the pages simple and clean portrays peace and gives the mind a chance to absorb the pertinent information without being distracted by unnecessary “fluff”
2) Keep it simple!
I can’t speak for all situations, and I know that every birth mother is different, but I can tell you from our experience, the birth mothers we dealt with during our process (including our son’s) were all in less-than-ideal situations in life.
Let’s be honest – that is the majority of birth mothers. They likely wouldn’t be putting their child up for adoption if they were in an ideal situation.
We dealt with moms who were homeless, in jail, barely spoke English, were still in high school, had dropped out of school, had mental illness, etc.
What does this mean? Don’t write a novel about yourself!!
Pictures speak SO much louder than words. Bullet point lists are easier to digest. Short paragraphs rather than pages and pages of “about us” stories will be so much more effective.
The Profile Book is a snapshot – not a biography. You will probably get a chance to talk more in depth with (and maybe even meet) the birth mother later on.
3) Make it genuine!
While you obviously want your profile to show the best side of your family, don’t be afraid to put some “real” pictures in there as well – candids!
Show yourself living life. Show a picture of your house and backyard, or your dog and your cat. Be honest about your values and beliefs.
I’ve heard some agencies tell adoptive parents not to talk about their religion in their book, and ultimately that is your prerogative. It is your choice whether to address that or not.
We chose to be very specific about our religious beliefs in our profile book, and I can tell you from our experience, our son’s birth mother said that was the main reason she chose us – because of our faith. If your faith is important to you, then don’t hide it.
I would have never wanted a birth mother to choose us under false pretenses. This woman is giving you her CHILD. Be genuine and make sure your book is authentic so she truly can make a decision she can be at peace with!
About Allison
In addition to loving all things photography and design, I am mom to a sweet baby boy and wife to an amazing husband. We adopted our son in 2016 and so are very familiar with the emotional roller coaster that goes along with the adoption process. I have personally made several adoption profiles, and this activity, which might cause a bit of angst for many, is actually one of my favorite things to do!
I truly enjoyed creating our profile books (we have a second one now that includes our son as we plan to begin the adoption process again soon!). I have always had a knack for creating scrapbooks, and I have a bit of an obsession with fun fonts and design!
I am very excited to offer my services to other adoptive couples with my newly created Adoption Profile Design service. Not every couple going through the adoption process has loads of money (we certainly didn’t), and I felt like every time we were told of another fee or expense, we just cried a little inside (haha) and wrote the check.
We got to the point where any fee or expense less than $1000 we considered “reasonable.” My goal with my profile service is to help other couples like us (who may not have a bottomless bank account!) create a beautiful, simple, clean profile book that is affordable! You can read more about me and my services at my site:
www.yellowrosedesign.net
