It is safe to say most adoptive families that are adopting a newborn in the U.S. are usually matched for several weeks or months prior to the baby’s birth. 
In an open adoption, this means that you have the opportunity to meet the birthmother – or at least talk with her and establish a relationship. When you get to meet her or even if you don’t – I’m sure that you would want to let her know how much you appreciate the precious gift she has given you.
While there is no possible way for you to say thank you enough, you can think about giving her a special gift. This could be when you meet her for the first time, or when you are with her at the hospital during the birth, or you could simply send her a gift – or maybe all of the above.
I have collected 10 simple birthmother gift ideas that you can use to make your connection with her more special.
Please be sure to ask your adoption attorney if it is legal in your state to give your birthmother a gift.
Here are 10 simple birthmother gift ideas:
Get a book that a birthmother can record her voice in for the baby to hear. This will allow her voice to be heard by the baby and it is a wonderful way for her to feel connected with her child. We did this for our son’s birthparents and they LOVED it.
2. Flowers
This can be a great idea to bring with you and give directly to her – or have them delivered. This could also be a fruit, cookie, or chocolate bouquet.
3. Giftcards to her favorite places
Find out her favorite restaurants, movie theater, hair salon, spa, etc.
You can find some with special inscription or photo holder.[ois skin=”5″]
5. Birthmother basket
There is an amazing lady named Gina Crotts that placed her baby many years ago and felt the pain of going home without her baby. She then started making birthmother baskets.
Click here to read her story. Birth Mother Baskets {bmb} is a non-profit organization that delivers gift baskets to birth mothers who have recently placed their babies for adoption.
These gift baskets hold so much more than just the tangible items inside of them. They are filled with LOVE, warmth and support.
BMB provides a loving voice saying, “you are not alone, you are loved, you are brave and yes someone has felt this unbearable pain before.” These baskets help support these brave women who truly give the greatest gift of all… selfless LOVE.
This bracelet was inspired and designed by adoptive mother Mardie Caldwell. Enduring seven pregnancy losses, adoption was the answer to her prayer of becoming a mother.
Each and every adoption prayer bracelet is lovingly handmade and created with prayer and patience in the United States. Each bracelet includes a 1″ custom heart shaped pewter adoption prayer charm.
You can find one from www.manyheartsonebeat.com or a tangled hearts necklace.
Click here for a Greg Olsen framed piece showing Jesus holding a little boy or here for him holding a little girl on his lap. It is something your birthmother can look at for the rest of her life and know that He is watching over her little one.
9. Credits for an online photo website 
You can open an account and post pictures on a site such as Shutterfly.com. Then you can buy credits on the account so your birthmother can order whatever photos she likes.
She could also choose to use credits on a photo gift or DVDs of the pictures. There may be times when she doesn’t want pictures and other times when she longs for pictures. Using a photo website, she can get them when SHE wants them and is ready for them.
10. Birthstone ring
You’ll have to figure out her size, but a ring containing the baby’s birthstone may be especially appropriate if not many people know about the pregnancy – this way she won’t have to deal with a ton of questions about a more obvious adoption necklace for example.
A variation of the ring could have the baby’s birthstone along side the birthmother’s birthstone – even alternating birthstones.
In my experience through two adoptions, the best thing I can recommend is to get to know your birthmother and what she likes – this will help you think of the best gift to give her.
Also, please be sure to check with your adoption attorney to see what your limits are in giving gifts to a birthmother – you don’t want to jeopardize your adoption plan.
Do you know of more birthmother gifts? Share your ideas in the comments below or email me to let me know and I’ll share in another blog post.
